Friday, May 16, 2014

Abki Baar, Modi Sarkar!!

So NDA is coming to power. Stronger than ever!! A majority for BJP, ON ITS OWN!! Is anyone surprised? By the extent, Maybe! But, by the result in general?

Some journalists maybe! Oh Damn, we tried so hard, YET! Infact, even they are not surprised, they are just disappointed they couldn’t stop his juggernaut! Actually they helped him, they just didn’t realize.

And so must be Arvind Kejriwal and his haphazardly arranged group of socialists/industrialists/ex-corporates/poets etc. Infact, they are not surprised. They are just confused! They must be thinking – We had everything in our favour, where did we go wrong? Oh Sorry, how can they go wrong? How did the people go wrong in voting for the wrong party!! Clearly they country doesn’t deserve them – the only truly anti-corruption force in the country!! This country is full of corrupt people who vote for other corrupt people. 

Well Arvind – I will help you find an answer! Doing what you preach might be a starting point. Keeping idiots like Ashutosh at an arm’s distance would be my second advice. Staying in government and doing something, if given another chance, wouldn’t hurt either.  Go back to being an Aam Aadmi party instead of “Celebrities wanting to join politics” aadmi party. Accept that being against corruption is not everything! Accept that you not the only one against corruption. Oh, and stop going back on your word every second day. And how did I forget about Somnath Bharti? Seriously? That is your alternative politics?? These are just some pointers. Rest, you are a smart chap to figure out whats best for you! Or you can always go to Prasun Vajpayee for some Krantikari advise.

You know who has not been able to believe the results at all?  Rahul Baba! Since morning, he has been crying in his mother’s lap and Rajeev Gandhi’s proud daughter has been trying to solace him all this while. “But what did I do wrong mommy?” He has been asking his mother all day. When Manmohan Singh visited 10 Janpath and saw the spectacle, he couldn’t hide a smirk though the two Gandhi ladies were too busy in comforting Baba and ignored him.  “Manmohan Ji, aap hi kuch boliye! Subah se kuch khaya nahi hai isne!” Sonia Gandhi asked the outgoing PM. “Main to 10 sal kuch nahi bola Madam. Ab kya hi bolun!” MMS is said to have replied

Advice to Congress. Declare yourself a heritage organisation and declare Rahul Gandhi a member of som extinct species that somehow resurfaced - Belonging to the times when the human race still hadn’t developed gray matter. That will be very beneficial - You can claim Rahul was responsible for women empowerment in dinosaurs! And he has some affinity towards fundamentals, Right?? So, you can also claim that HE IS the fundamental particle!! Once you have done that, you can start sidelining some smart people like Diggy uncle, Kapil “Zero Loss” Sibal, Mani “not worth a tea cup” Aiyar, Manish “Some complex English word” Tiwari and did I say Diggy Uncle??  Then you can just tell Rahul Baba that Prime Minister of India will now sit out of Mount Everest, I am sure it wouldn’t be tough to convince him and send him off as well.  Bring in some fresh blood and then you might have a chance in the next 10 years!!

Advice for Mr. Modi – Please don’t disappoint the people of this country!! We have high hopes from you, hopes you have built! It’s your job to live upto the expectations and make us a country that we can be proud of!

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